I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.

Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.

My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.

The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.