In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.