In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.

Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.