In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

I came to America to make it my home, and I did.