Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.