I fed my ego, but not my soul.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.