Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.

In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.

In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.