Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!

We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.