I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.