In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!

Never having alone time is real tough on people.

I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.

A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.

Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.