In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.