Yogi ordered a pizza. The waitress asked How many pieces do you want your pie cut? Yogi responded, Four. I don't think I could eat eight.

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

Whatever you do, you should do it with feeling.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

I take a two hour nap between 1PM and 3PM.