The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore.

I tell the kids, somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose. Just don't fight about it. Just try to get better.

I don't know. How hot is it supposed to be?

You don't have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it'll go.

What the hell is wrong with him now?

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight.'

Anybody who can't hear the difference between a ball hitting wood and a ball hitting concrete must be blind.