The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore.

He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.

What makes a good man?

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

Listen up, because I've got nothing to say and I'm only gonna to say it once.

I can't concentrate when I'm thinking.

Never answer anonymous letters.