That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.

People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.

It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.

I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?

I went to film school and wanted to learn everything there was about making movies.

One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.