If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!

That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.

My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.

I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture