I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.

I like to drop in on people who picked on me in high school or whatever, just out of the blue, and chat with them to see how they think of me now that I'm a big star. Usually they're a lot nicer. After about half an hour, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and leave a few DVDs or pictures there. Then when I come out, I say good-bye and leave. Then I call the cops.

To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.

The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.