I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.

I went to film school and wanted to learn everything there was about making movies.

One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.

If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!

Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.

Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.

It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.