I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.

Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that

When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?

I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.

Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.