When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.

Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.

Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do

A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.

Yeah i thought about making the character of JD gay... But then i thought, but what about all the poor girls dreams you'll be crushing

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.

I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.