At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter

Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.

Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.

Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.

I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.

Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.