It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.

I don't think that other races are inferior, I just think that there's something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm on that team.'

If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans.

Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me

I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.

They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?

At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter