What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.
So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?