If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans.

I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.

Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do

You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.

I never looked at bread the same way again

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.