They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?

I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.

It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.

I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.

I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left; the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.

People always say The God Father is the #1 movie of all time. But ask yourself, did you see Zach Braff in it....No you didn't. So then by default it goes to Garden State..and if youwatch two episodes of scrubs back to back that counts as the #2.

I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.