If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.

I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.

People always say The God Father is the #1 movie of all time. But ask yourself, did you see Zach Braff in it....No you didn't. So then by default it goes to Garden State..and if youwatch two episodes of scrubs back to back that counts as the #2.

I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.

I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff