I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.

If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.

You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.

So, yeah, I mean, there is something universal about that feeling - that 20-something, what the hell am I going to do with my life, I'm lost and my parents are freaking me out, and what's the point? Every generation has a way of making that unique, but there are certain universals of that feeling.

It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.

I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.

Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.