If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.

I'm 26 years old, and I've spent my whole life waiting for something else to start. Now I realize that this is all there is, and I'm going to try to live my life like that.

I never looked at bread the same way again

I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?

I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.

I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.

My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.