People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.

The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.

It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married. But my peers are getting married in their early 30s, so now there's like this extra 10 years of that angst.

Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.

I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.

I never taught a blind/deaf chick to read, but somehow I've managed to turn Scrubs into a watchable show. That may not sound like much, but take a look at my surrounding cast and ask yourself, who's the real miracle worker?

Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.