If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.

I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?

Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?

It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.

If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.

I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.