People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.

In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.

It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.

I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.

Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.

Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me

I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.