It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure for polio or something.

In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.

Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.

Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?

I use the N word almost daily. It reminds me that I'm successful

I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.