I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?

That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.

Yea, I had a dream too. Looks like mine came true.

One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.

Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I die, I hope to go out the same way I came in, but I don't think my mother would be into that.

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.

What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.