A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.

People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.

Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.

The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?

One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.

Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.