It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.

I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.

Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.

I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?

I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funeral with my family in the back of a limousine and someone cracking a joke and us just hysterically belly laughing. It's how we always dealt with tragedy in our lives and I think it's such a healthy way to deal with sadness.

Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?