It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?

Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.

I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.