I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.

I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.

Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.

I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.

Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.

Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?