You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.

Yeah, I saw the guy running out of the building carrying a rifle, I just didn't say anything to the cops because I was so happy that I wasn't the one who got shot.

Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.

My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.