After all meat is meat. I don't understand why so many people are bithing about it. It's very healthy and contains lots of vitamins

It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.

People keep asking me whether I'm going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I'm like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.

One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.

I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?

I never looked at bread the same way again