The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

I really don't give a care, I'm going to live for ever

People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.

I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'

I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.