I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].

I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.

Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.

I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.

I really don't give a care, I'm going to live for ever

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.