Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.

I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do

I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?

Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.

Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.

Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.

It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.