Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.

I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.

Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.

I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.