I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.

A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.

I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.

I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.

Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that

If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.

It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.