If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.
My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
I can't say I agree with something that takes the focus away from me.
I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.