I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.

My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.

I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do

There's a lot of gray area in the law. Who can say, without a doubt, that I was in the wrong?

The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.

I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?

I know every politician spins the truth a little.