People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.

I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.

My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.

The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?

People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.

I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really; I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.