People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.

In theater or movies you see either 'I'm religious' or 'I'm an atheist.' I've never seen too much discussion of 'I believe there's a higher power but I'm hesitant to reach out to him because I don't know if I'm worthy of his attention.

I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.

If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.

She can't say no if she's unconscious.

I heard about the Dalai Lama, you know and I thought to myself, why not me?

I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh