For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.

I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.

Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she's saying. Come on, she's a woman. But still, it's very cute.

It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.