I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.

I think we have to acknowledge that people are different and succeed at different things, first of all. Men are better than women at some professions like firefighting, construction work, and physics. But women are better than men at some professions, too, like elementary teaching, prostitution, and giving birth. Who's to say which is more important?

Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

Well, I've thought about donating, but they get so many damn donations already. I read about one foundation that raised over 100 million dollars. Well where the hell did that go? For all I know every starving child has a 2 story house by now. Or maybe they're all raging alcoholics, like homeless people. Homeless people who are more effective when it comes to raising money. Who wants to support alcoholic children? Not me.