I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.

Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.

Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.

I feel really bad for everyone who died on 9/11. Not just the people in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, or Flight 93, but all of the terrorists, too. 'Garden State' came out in 2004. That means none of them got a chance to see it. Let that sink in for a second. No wonder they're building a memorial.

If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.