I can't say I agree with something that takes the focus away from me.

At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter

I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.

The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.

Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.

You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.

Being around blind people is always a little frustrating to me because I know they have no idea how handsome I am.