I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written, directed AND starred in their own movies. I just don't know why they would want to put words into my mouth, I mean I did write, direct AND star in a critically acclaimed movie.

When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.

I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh

I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.

When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?

I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff