I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?

Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.

Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'

I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

Working on 'Scrubs' made me feel guilty because I realized that if I had decided to become an actual doctor, instead of just playing one, I could probably have found a cure to cancer within five years.

Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she's saying. Come on, she's a woman. But still, it's very cute.

Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.