Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.

Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

Look on the bright side; that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.

It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.

A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.

If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.

My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.