In theater or movies you see either 'I'm religious' or 'I'm an atheist.' I've never seen too much discussion of 'I believe there's a higher power but I'm hesitant to reach out to him because I don't know if I'm worthy of his attention.

I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.

If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.

Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.

Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?

Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me

I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?