You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

I never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going to turn around and report them.

Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.

Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.

It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment