You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.

I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.

Actually when I gave out the script, I gave it with a CD of all the music I wanted to put in the movie, and again, we never thought we'd get all that music.

A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.

Yea, I had a dream too. Looks like mine came true.

Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.